Book 16 IELTS General Writing Test 3
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
“Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing you in response to the article the book the influenced me most printed in the last issue of your magazine, as it was stated there that you would be waiting for readers contributions.
Having noticed this, I couldn’t have failed taking an opportunity to share my experience.
So, the book that literally turned my world upside down is called “Nina”, by an italian author writing under the pen name of Moony Witcher. The book was about a girl who suddenly found out that her grandfather had not only been a great alchemist but had also kept saving the world from an evil mage. And it was her turn to take up his task and save all the children’s dreams and fantasies from complete extinction.
I was twelve when I cracked this book open and I was completely lost in an interesting plot and a breathtaking philosophy concerning Good and Evil, Creation and Destruction, Everything and Nothing. This book had a great influence on me as a writer, it encouraged me to try writing fantasy stories and made me a person that I am now.
I would advise reading this book to everyone from age 8 to ll, as it is sure to be very beneficial for children’s upbringing and to teach them some good things in a very interesting way.
Best regards,”
Here is the examiner’s comment:
This response addresses all the requirements of the question. There is a good description of what the book was about and a clear idea of how it influenced the writer. To improve the score, more detail could be added to the final bullet point.
The response is organised clearly into paragraphs and the cohesive devices make it easy to follow.
Vocabulary is strong, there are some colloquial [cracked … open] and higher-level items (alchemist | fantasies | philosophy). There are also some good examples of complex grammatical structures but a few errors remain [writing you / writing to you || a person / the person].
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
“It is very common for many people to spend most of their lives living in the same city they were born. There are many reasons for that, but in my opinion there are more pros then cons to live in the same city.
Some advantages to live in the same city that you were born are you will be close to your family and that means you can have more support for them, for example, emotional or financial support or even advices. Another good point is you will see your nephews grow up and more important than that, you could help to take care of your parents when they get older. What is more you might have a lot of friends and if you live in the same city it is very easy to keep contact with them. Also, you will know the city, where it is good to have fun, where it is safe etc.
In the disadvantages side, if you live in the same city where were born you probably will lost the opportunity to meet people from another city. Also living alone far of your family you will grow up and be more responsible. What is more, you can have more jobs opportunities, because you can try to find a job in any city. Also you will have more adventures.
Even with some disadvantages, I think there are much more advantages to live in the same city that you were born.”
Here is the examiner’s comment:
After the introduction, this response moves immediately into the advantages and disadvantages. This means there is no real reference to the first point, the
‘reasons’. If the candidate had included the ‘reasons’, this response would have scored more highly.
Paragraphing has been used to organise che ideas in this response. There is an introduction, a conclusion, one paragraph for advantages and another for disadvantages. Some effective cohesive devices are used, but overall, the response is a little repetitive [Also].
Vocabulary is appropriate but the range is restricted, and sentences are generally short which limits the score for grammatical structures. Although the candidate is able to use a range of clauses (if you live | because], this is with some error.