Book 16 IELTS General Writing Test 2
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
“Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing you because I would like to give you my opinion on your article about town centres which you published in a national newspaper called Denik.
first of all I have to agree with the part where you mentioned a shape and an organization of main squares. Most of them have a rounded shape with lots of different shops around and to a fountain in the center.
However, I found the center of Brno quite different from most of other cities. Mostly because it has nice older architecture combined with modern style. Brno has also one unique difference that is that a tram goes right across of the middle of the main square. Also the main train station together with tram station is placed right under the main square, which is not so common in other cities.
At the end, I would like to offer a tour in Brno in hope that it could change your opinion. If you decide to visit my town, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I will be more than happy to show you the beauty of this city.
Yours faithfully.”
Here is the examiner’s comment:
All three bullet points are addressed and the tone is polite in this letter to a newspaper. In this task, the bullet points ask ‘which points / explain ways’ (plural) which means more than one point or example is required per bullet point. In this response, two examples are provided for each of the first two bullet points, satisfying the requirements for this task.*
Progression is clear and cohesive devices are used well [which you published | Most of them | that is that]. There are some inaccuracies [At the end / finally]. The range of vocabulary does allow some flexibility (mentioned | architecture combined with modern style | unique difference | not so common | change your opinion).
However, a wider range would be needed to score more highly here. Similarly, complex sentence forms are attempted, but generally sentences are short and flexibility is limited in this response.
Note
*It is important for test takers to notice if more than one example is required for each bullet point (e.g., problems, points, ways, examples) because if only one is provided, this is not a complete response to the question.
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score.
“Some people prefer to keep to things that they can or use to. I think it has good side and
bad side.
First of all, keep to do same thing make you forcus to things. You can learn and enjoy deeply.
Also, keep to do same thing makes you comfortable. You can relax to do it. If you have bad day, you don’t need to look for what makes you relax because you already used to do it. For example, you can watch film, visit place, eat food whatever you like or used to. You can go back your routines.
On the other hand, keep to do same thing is avoid your charenge. When you try something that you don’t like or new, it makes you unconfortable. When you face things that you don’t understand well. It must be scared and unconfortable and then you have two choices. Charenge or escape. You don’t need to always choose charenge, but you have to ask yourself, is escape good for you?
You need to have confortable time or things like hobbies. It must be good for you. But sometime you have to try to put yourself in unconfortable. It makes you improve and it brings knowledge.”
Here is the examiner’s comment:
This response does address the requirements of the question. There are relevant main ideas and an opinion in the concluding paragraph. However, the response is quite repetitive [keep to do same thing) and cohesion is faulty.
Vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there is a limited range with repeated errors in spelling [unconfortable / uncomfortable | charenge / challenge].
There are some attempts at complex sentence structures [You don’t need to always choose … buff; otherwise, sentences are short, indicating a lack of complexity. The level of error is significant in this response, including continuous structures keep to do / keep doing | you already used to do it / you are already used to doing it],
This response is below the minimum word count for Task 2. The overall score could be improved if spelling and word choice were more accurate and if there was a wider variety in sentence structures.