Book 12 IELTS Academic Writing Test 3
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The candidate organises the information well and describes the trends in the various groups, but the lack of data to support the descriptions is a significant omission. There is a clear progression throughout the response, with good management of cohesive devices [percentage of people who | during the same period | in these segments of the chart | the groups in which | such facilities]. Lexis shows some flexibility and precision [on a weekly basis] and there is evidence of less common items [segments | major changes | most of the population | most/ least popular with the exception of], with few errors in word choice [visualises | be ❘ clients]. There is a variety of complex structures used with flexibility and accuracy. but there are also a few errors in grammatical control and in punctuation.
“The chart visualises how often the US citizens be at fast-food restaurants in the years 2003, 2006 and 2013.
From 2003 to 2006 the percentage of people who have never eaten ok a fast food restaurant has fallen by 1%, but on the other hand during the same period the number of clients who eat foot food everyday has also fallen to about 3% of the population. Since 2006, no other changes have occurred in these segments of the chart. The major changes can be seen in the groups, who eak in a fast-food restaurant on a weekly basis (once or several times a week) and in the groups in which people visit the fast-food restaurants once or twice a month or once a few months. While in 2006 most of the US citizens ake of such facilities of least once a week, in 2013 most of the population did so only once or twice a month. It’s clear that the fast-food restaurants were most popular in 2006 and least popular in 2013. However the number of people who eat in such restaurants only a few times every year don’t change. As a whole, with the exception of people who rarely or never eat fast food and in adation, the small part of the population who eat every day, the peak of going to fast-food restaurants was reached in 2006 in contrast with 2013 when most of the poputation spent time in them only once or twice a month.”
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.5 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
This is a good response which would achieve an even higher score if there was more focus on large sums of money and on between cities. The writing is well organised and there is a clear progression throughout, although the use of some cohesive devices could be more flexible. There is a wide range of vocabulary. used appropriately and naturally. [preferred method of transportation | leave the driving to the professional | more affordable | ever-expanding urban populations embrace the idea of], but some spelling errors are noted [Communters | whill | cheif ❘ammount | busses]. There is a wide range of structures and again, these are used flexibly, however there are occasional errors in punctuation.
“For many people around the world, the preferred method of transportation is high-speed rail. Communters travelling to and from work rely on the safety and efficiency, whill tourists appreciate the convenience and novelty that trains provide. Others believe that highways, busses and regular trains should be improved before new, high-speed lines are added.
Safety is cheif among concerns for those who travel to work or school on a regular basis. If one drives a car, they have to concentrate on the road not only to avoid accidents but also to prevent other drivers from causing a problem on the road. High- speed rail allows the communter to leave the driving to the professional controlling the train, allowing them to get some work done while getting to work safely.
In addition, people tend to move further and further away from city centres, where land and houses are more affordable. High-speed rail allows these commuters to travel greater distances in a shorter ammount of time. There is a flow-on effect here, because if we can reduce the number of ears on the road, we can also cut down on traffic jams and rood delay.
On the other hand, high-speed trains are expensive, and some believe this money could be spend on repairing motorways which are used by ears, busses and motorcycles. Another possibility would be to use this money to build more regular communter trains and busses to service the ever-expanding urban populations. Moreover, books and ferries could benefit from a budget which focuses more on existing forms of transport.
In the end, public transport is an issue which affects us all. The taxes which we pay should be spent on the type of transport which will have the most benefit to all citizens. In addition, we need to take into account how much the environment is damaged by fossil fuels and pollution. therefore, I believe in order to move forward, we need to embrace the idea of high-speed rail so that future generations can continue to live safely and efficiently.”