Book 11 IELTS Academic Writing Test 3
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The candidate has reported all the data in the graph and provides summaries of the main trends (The production of carbon dioxide in Portugal and Italy was steadily increasing during that period, The emission of carbon dioxide in United Kingdom and Sweden was under decrease during that period of time). There are attempts at comparison (The emission of carbon dioxide in United Kingdom in 1967 was the highest one among all these 4 countries, In 2007 the emission in Sweden was at the same level with Portugal), but there is some irrelevant material in the final paragraph. There is a clear overall progression, with some use of cohesive devices (However, in the beginning). The range of lexis is adequate and appropriate for the task (production of carbon dioxide, a bit higher, increased, decreased) and although there are some errors in word choice (was under decrease, underwent continued) and spelling (tones/tonnes, deacrease), these do not prevent the message from coming across. There are some attempts to produce complex sentence forms, with good control over grammatical accuracy.
“The graph shows the changes in the emission of carbon dioxide in 4 European countries in the period from 1967 to 2007.
The production of carbon dioxide in Portugal and Italy was steadily increasing during that period. In 1967 emission of carbon dioxide in Portugal was approximately 1.3 metric tonnes. and in 2007 the emission there achieved 5.4. In Italy in the beginning of the period was a bit higher than 4. However, it increased only till 78 by 2007.
The emission of carbon dioxide in United Kingdom and Sweden was under decrease during that period of time. The emission of carbon dioxide in United Kingdom in 1967 was the highest one among all these. 4 countries (about 10. But after 1967, it gradually decreased to about 9 metric tones. The emission in Sweden was around 8, 6 metric tones in the beginning, then it steadly increased till 10.5 metric tones. However, in 1977 it got tremendous deacrease in the emission of carbon dioxide which underwent til 2007. In 2007 the emission in Sweden was at the same level with Portugal around 5.456. The changes in emission of carbon dioxide can be connected with the changes in economical development and appearance of some new technologies which reduce emissions.”
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
All parts of the prompt are addressed and a clear position is presented throughout the response. Main ideas are extended and supported. Ideas are logically organised and there is a clear progression throughout the response. A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly, while each paragraph has a clear central topic which is developed. The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision and although there are a few spelling errors, these do not detract from the overall clarity of the response. A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy. Grammar and punctuation are well controlled and error-free sentences are frequent.
Many may say, and I agree, that today’s society has almost erased all its boarders and soon will become limitless in what concerns travelling for both work and pleasure. Therefore, if this is to happen, then learning a new language is necessary.
“Nowadays, learning a new language for the purpose of working in other countries seems to become more and more popular. Aduts in need of money or why not recognition are trying to pursue their happiness for away from home. Also, the hey days of employers looking only for capable people have gone. It seems that today’s employers are looking not only for much-skilled employees, but they also want people who know more than their mother tongue. Sooner or later, those who omitted learning more are prone to become jobless.
However, to my mind, a new language shoutch’t be learned just for travelling or working in a foreign country. A foreign language should help the leamer broaden his mind. By this I mean that the new language should and will allow us to understand more about the world itself, and maybe our ancestors’ ways of thinking and acting. Needless to say, knowing another language will help us when it comes to understanding the human race, because language is the first poem of a country.
All of this being said, I believe that learning a different language should be not only for satisfying our physical needs, like money, but also our moral needs, because never before had such a big thirst for knowledge been displayed.”
Check out the creative side of portraiture at https://fansly.com/XArtStudio, where I share digital art transformations you won’t find elsewhere. Using Acry-Real and Glamour techniques, I design pieces that bring out personality and style. My fans also enjoy canvas previews, making it easy to picture the artwork as a part of their daily environment.
99vb3i