Book 11 IELTS Academic Writing Test 2
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The candidate covers all the key features of the task and rounds off the description with an overview. There is some repetition of information and some irrelevant commentary (which is good because it shows that more people have learned other languages well). Information is arranged coherently and there is a clear overall progression, with effective use of cohesive devices, though there is a tendency to rely on dates. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but the writer does not attempt any less common items. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy, but the range would need to be wider to achieve a higher score.
“The charts show the percentage of the British students, who are able to speak languages other than English, in 2000 and in 2010. In 2000, 20% of the British students were not. able to speak another language. But in 2010 the number has decreased to 10%, which is good because it shows that more people have learned other languages well.
The biggest percentage had Spanish only with 30% in 2000. However it has increased by 5% and is in 2010 still the highest percentage with 35%.
In 2000, German only and two other languages were the lowest ones, both with 10%. While in 2010 French only. German only and two other languages show the lowest percentage, while all of them got 10%. All in all, the percentage of German only in 2000 and 2010 hasn’t changed. The percentage of French only has decreased by 5%. No other languages percentage was reduced by the half from the 20% in 2000 to
10% in 2010.
The number of people, who are speaking two other languages has increased by half: In 2000 there were 10% and in 2010 there are 15%.
Another interesting fact is that the percentage of another language has improved
aswell: from 15% to 20%.
But still, the most common learned language is Spanish only. In 2000 there were 30% of English students, who spoke it fluently, while in 2010 the number has increased further to 35%”
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The candidate expresses a position, but only partially addresses the prompt (he or she considers ways in which people can be encouraged to recycle, rather than explicitly looking at the extent to which laws are required); however, ideas are relevant and are supported with clear examples. There is a clear overall progression and cohesive devices are used effectively, if somewhat mechanically (apart from Either). Paragraphing is just adequate. Lexical range is adequate for the task and there are attempts to use less common items (policy, junk bank, citizen, deposit), but there are errors in word formation (sale/sell, growth/grow up) and some errors in word choice cause difficulty for the reader (inverse to be some money, motivate advantages of recycling). There are attempts to use complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent (million tons of wastes have been being produced which from home everyday, easy example way to do in house. There is one day a week in order that clean school together which help they have…. Starting give education).
“Nowadays more than million tons of wastes have been being produced which from home everyday and some people claim that not enough of the litters is recycled. Therefore, they think the governments should have a policy to increase recycling.
It is necessary to say that their govemments should take action. For example, providing rubbish bag into each family so that seperate a litter and make it to have value. Many waste; paper, box or steel from home can sole to goverments or decrease council tax. Either, the government should provide junk bank that the citizen can deposit recycled waste and inverse to be some money.
Moreover, the government should have spot advertisement on television to motivate advantages of recycling. In Thailand, my country, we have “3R” advertisement standing For reuse, reduce and recycle and easy example way to do in house such as using less plastics bag (reduce), reuse take away box or sole some paper.
In school teacher teach children how to recycle waste at home and go back to tell their parent and come back to report their teacher. There is one day a week in order that. clean school together which help they have a good attitud in cleaning.
In conclution, it should be good that the government make some low about waske tax and make people follow the low by give them back some money. Starting give education. at school so that when they growth up the will do easier.
In my opinion, it is very easy to goverment to do as I mention above to reduce waske from homes such as “3R”, junk bank, providing rubblish bins and teaching at school and It will be a good habit and good in long term.”