Book 11 IELTS Academic Writing Test 1
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4.5 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The candidate covers all the data in the charts, but there is some inaccuracy in his description (the largest percentage went with the Agricultural and farms) (not true in all cases) and there is a shortage of data to support the descriptions. There is an attempt to summarise the main points at the end of the description. Information is evident, but it is not arranged coherently (the description jumps from different usage in general to specific use in different countries, but this does not follow a logical sequence). Without reference back to the individual charts, it is hard to follow the description, especially where reference is also unclear (it, them, they). The range of lexis is just adequate for the task (largest percentage, greatest number, a lot, the second after Asia), but there is reliance on input material and errors in spelling are noticeable, even where the lexis is supplied in the prompt or the diagrams. A very limited range of structures is used and grammatical errors are frequent (… all of pie charts have the got…… they almost the second after Asia use water in industrial and opposite of Europe,… they slightly same in industrial use,… South Asia and South America are uses the water in Agricultural rather than industrial). The script represents a mixed profile, but overall achieves Band 4.5.
“The charts indicate to Five places on the earth. Talking about water and the ways of using it.
It seen obvious all of pie charts have the got the Lowest precentage in the domestic uses like ok home. However, the Largest precentage went with the Agricultural and farms. The center of Asia has the greatest numbers of precentage of Agricultural use. On the other hand in Europe they did not use, water so much as central Asia or Africa. They just use 32,4%. But in the industral they use it alot and the Largest precentage with them. If we check on Africa, it seen they almost the second after Asia use water in industrial and opposite of Europe.
In North America and Europe they slightly same in industrial use and just less 4 precentages to Europe, South Asia and South America are uses the water in Agricultural rather than industrial.
Overall, they all use water much in the form and Agriculturall. Europe and North America they use water more than others in the industrial areas. Africa got the lowest. precentage in domestic and industrial uses.”
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The candidate puts forward three reasons for why he agrees with the statement and develops/supports the first two of these. Further support and development would be necessary to achieve a higher score here. Organisation is evident, with some simple cohesive devices (sometimes used inaccurately) (First of all, Nowaday. At the same time. Secondly, This, However, It, Finally. Overall). and there are attempts to use paragraphs to present ideas. The range of lexis is generally adequate and appropriate (pollution, driving to work, rush hours, emissions, environment, traffic jam, congestion, public transport, commute, destinations, advantages, drawbacks) and although there are spelling errors, these do not usually impede communication. The candidate attempts to use complex sentences (relative clauses, if clauses), but error levels are high and there are also quite frequent errors in punctuation.
“In recent years, government focuse on improving quality of life, that would bring a lot benifits for citizens. Such as. communication, transprotation, health care. Some arguement that butt railways is more useful for local people than roads. In my opinion, it is good idea that more train sation is buit. There are some reasons.
First of all, it reduced polution when more people give up driving to work in weekday. Nowaday, people spend a lot of time on the road in rush hours. At the same time, emissions of car bring a pollution in our enviroment. People easily get upset, if they got into traffic jam for longtime. Research has shown that it is get more pollution of air that car stoped on the road without cutting power. Trainstation is a good way to make easy that train never could get into congestion and train is a public transport which is more helpful to reduce air pollution.
Secondly, it solved congestion on the road while many people commute by train, nearly years, a number of car is growing. So, a question that a number of car is over volumed of road is following. This caused traffic jam have being horrible problem. However, the train will take more people to go to their destinations without waiting on road in rush hour. It is more convience for citizen.
Finally, taking public transport is cheaper than privatcal vichele. People could save money. to do others they intrested.
Overall, goverment pay more money for building ralway. It bring more it is a good decision.
that advantages than drawbacks..”
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