Book 11 IELTS General Writing Test 2
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4.5 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The candidate has written to the hotel manager as required, but the three bullet points are not covered adequately. It is not clear where the writer thinks he or she has left the papers (only that they are somewhere in the hotel), nor is it clear what he or she wants the manager to do with them when found. There are also problems with the tone and format of the letter. Information and ideas are presented, but these are not arranged coherently and there are few cohesive devices. The range of vocabulary is limited, but just adequate for the task, with some errors in word choice and formation (I conference your hotel, total 280paper, a level of doctor). The range of grammatical structures is limited and although there are a few attempts at subordination (I hope you to remember that…, I’ll using the report when, I belive you already have it when, When you finished reading it, when I finised the presentation), they are almost all ‘when’ clauses. The level of error is high, even in simple structures (The date is start, I have no enough time, I really want finding) and punctuation is also often faulty.
“Dear Sir. Hello. I have a request to your hotel. I have been there and I hope you to remember that I conference your hotel few days ago.
My name is — and room No. is 707. The date is start 12/02/14 to 17/02/14. Actually, I lost my report for presentation. That is total 280paper. It was specially requested to Japan Uni for I month. I’ll using the report when I get a level of doctor.
I have no enough time for collected report again. Because the presentation will be opened after 4 days. I really want finding the report, and I belive you already have it when you before reading this mail.
Protect the lost goods is due the hotels.
And already it’s a law.
When you finished reading it, then just call me or leave your message to my asistant. I have a plan that when I finised the presentation, I’ll be go there again for celebrat party with
Generally,
my
friends.”
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The candidate addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. Ideas are presented, extended and supported, arranged coherently and there is a clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are used effectively, but paragraphing is not adequate – many of the ‘paragraphs’ consist of a single sentence. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and shows an awareness of style and collocation (reflection, research, balanced in terms of theory and…. personal and professional problems). There is a variety of complex structures with frequent error-free sentences and good control over grammar and punctuation.
“I agree with people who say that too much time is spent on leaming facts and not enough on learning practical skills, in all levels of educations.
reah24
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Since I was child, I’ve been studying in different sorts of institution and I could mainly when I started to work that most of the time we spend more time in ‘what’ or ‘why’ do something than ‘how’ do it.
For sure I believe it’s important to know the theory through what ‘things works’. This knowledge encourage the reflection, the research, and so on…
That’s why the education standard is: in one side there is a teacher explaining the subject and in another side there are the students trying to learn everything.
Usually, there are few practical classes, when we can really develop our skills, for example: laboratory classes and computer classes.
Even in my university course Industrial Engineering – there are few practical tasks. That’s why I think the structure of education could be more balanced in terms of theory and practical skills. I this way people would be more capable to cope with personal and professional problems.
I believe that some institutions have already realized the importance of this balanced education. Some evidences to prove it: the increasing number of study cases and tasks which involve real problems like solving a marketing problem in a real company. Other evidence is the increasing number of MBAs offered around the world.
Therefore, I agree that we need to promote more the practial skills, but, as I see it. this change has been occuring”