Book 19 IELTS General Writing Test 2
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.0 score.
“Dear Luis
I am writing to inform you that if it is possible can you please tell the cousine to prepare some special traditional food from my country. Which is called baby con grill for me.
This very healthy and sweet as you probably know. We are going to do a physical exercise in the club, I need to have it, because it has a huge benefit for me to against the other team. I had an experience in my country everyone must have this dish and they have done a good job, because of the digestive of the food. However, you must not eat a lot because it contains variaty of proteins. Just normal grill without any seasorning and addictives
You should remember to let them know about that if not I will not do my best in this event
Hopefully it’s ready before we start
I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
Kind regarda,”
Here is the examiner’s comment:
This response is an attempt to address the question, but the candidate has misunderstood the requirements. The bullet points ask them to offer to make this popular dish for the club event, but this response asks the manager to arrange for the dish to be prepared. This also affects the third bullet point, where instead of explaining why the dish should be included in the International Students’ club event to celebrate food, the candidate explains why their sporting team would benefit. The score for Task Achievement is affected by this inaccurate content.
Apart from the inaccurate detalls, there is a sense of coherence within the letter. There are linking devices [because | However | Hopefully with some use of referencing [it | me other team | this], but there are errors [This very healthy / It is very healthy).
Vocabulary is good enough for the task. There is some accurate use [special traditional food seasoning] but with frequent lapses in word choice [couzine | digestive of the food and spelling [variaty/variety | addictives/additives). Similarly, grammatical structures are limited. There are some accurate structures, including if clauses, modals, and a range of tenses [if it is possible | need to have | have done | must not | should remember). However, errons do occur frequently, and punctuation is faulty and missing altogether in some places [about that if not I will not
To achieve a higher score, the letter needs to fully address the task, and demonstrate a greater level of accuracy with vocabulary and grammatical structures.
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
“Nowadays it is becoming more difficult to find the necessary time to do the home work. Even tasks as simple as cleaning the house and cooking the dinner or as important as childcare, are being delegated to third parties such as nannies or private companies.
Some people could say it is helpful to have someone who support ourselves at home. Not only because we usually do not have time to do it, but because we can promote jobs for other people. However I strongly believe that we should spend less hours at the office and much more hours at home. Doing that we should be able to carry on all the duties we use to have in the houses.
I think there certain activities we should not pass to others. For instance, taking care of our children. This is something that we, as parents, should do for ourselves. No one else could provide the kids all the love, understanding and friendship that a mother or father give to them. I remember that when I was a child, my mother quit her job and she dedicated all her time and effort to look after my brothers and I. Now, I realized that it was an invaluable time impossible to have with somebody else different from our own mother.
Summarizing, even though some people found useful to have others helping us in our duties at home, I think we should do it for ourselves because it provides valuable time at home. So that we should work less and spend more time sharing with our families. No matter if it is household chores or looking after children.”
Here is the examiner’s comment:
This is a strong response to the question and the candidate’s position is clear from the beginning. The candidate argues that people will find most satisfaction doing the work themselves at home. There is some consideration of the other side, and the conclusion is clear and relevant.
Ideas are sequenced logically and cohesion is managed well with some good cohesive devices [Doing that | Summarizing] but some overuse. There are a few slips [who support ourselves/to support us]. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic.
Vocabulary is natural and accurate [certain activities | quit | invaluable time). Sentence structure shows a variety of complex structures including multi-clause sentences, but a higher degree of accuracy would improve the response.