Book 17 IELTS General Writing Test 3
Answers
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
“Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Gonzalo and as you already know l have booked in une of your part-time courses, Business Administration. I would like to know if there is a possibility to change my course.
I chose this program because I wanted to improve my knowledge on that specific area, as you know I have been working for l0 years to have my job. However, recently a great friend offered me a opportunity to work as a graphic designer in his own compary. To be honest, I am about to make the biggest change in my career ever.
The main reason why I am getting in contact with you is because I need to change my program and find a new one in my new area. Is there any necessary arrangements for booking a different course? Should I pay an extra fee to be able to change? How exactly works to change to a different course? Those are my questions and I am need of some guidance.
Best regards!”
Here is the examiner’s comment:
This is a good response which addresses all three bullet points. Details about the course and the reasons for the cancellation are given. There are also several questions that ask about booking another course. The correct format for a letter is used, but there is a change in tone in the closing formula [Best regards!] which is too informal for this context.
Ideas are logically organised into three paragraphs, addressing each point in turn. Cohesive devices are used [However | To be honest] with some effective referencing [on that specific area | my course | his own companyl.
The range of vocabulary is adequate with some attempts at less common items [necessary arrangements | need… some guidance], but a wider range would be needed to score more highly. This response includes sentences with multiple clauses including if and a range of tenses and question forms. However, there are more than a few errors [/s there / Are there | / am need of / I am in need off which lower the overall score.
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
“The clothing and fashion market in one of the largest in options and price level. It is possible to find a wild range of stores and manufacturere across the cities and malls all around, however, what are the quality offered and what is the budget people are willing to spend on it? In which situation expensive tailored clothing are better than cheapen numerous clothes?
Some say that prioritising quality is always better, as well as having exclusivity. Needless to say that having a good wardrobe with high quality clothing is a dream for most women, since our attires are way more demanding than the simplicity of male style. In my opinion, is a wonderful feeling to purchase something of greater price as one can be sure about the durability and clear better appearance of the product.
The second option, having the capability of purchasing clothes in big quantities for a lower price, has its downsides. One of them is that quality is not the main concern, whenever in a popular store is possible to find objective peaces among the piles. Another point is durability, the bigger the role the less the products will last. Every laundry load is a struggle with pieces loosing color and fabric thickness. It is also valid to point out that they are made in large scale and it is not difficult to see random people wearing the same shirt. In the long term people will spend around the same amount of money replacing their low cost clothes, what refutates the positive side of spending less.
In conclusion, good quality clothing under higher price basis can be of advantage in many ways in comparison to more popular and less expensive products.”
Here is the examiner’s comment:
This is a strong response. Both parts of the question are addressed and it is clear that the option of buying fewer expensive clothes is preferred. The candidate emphasises the quality, exclusivity and durability of expensive clothing, and presents the downsides of cheaper clothing. Ideas are logically organised with clear progression through the paragraphing. The second paragraph addresses the benefits of buying expensive clothes and the third paragraph addresses the benefits of cheaper clothes. A range of cohesive devices is used appropriately, with linking devices [Needless to say that | In my opinion] and referencing [our | they | their.
Some consideration of any disadvantages of expensive clothes or any advantages of cheaper ones would improve the score for this task.
There is some flexibility and precision in the vocabulary used [prioritising quality | having exclusivity), but there are a few errors in word choice [wild range / wide range | attires …demanding / outfits… ? | greater / higher | role / ? | objective / quality? | refutates / refutes? counteracts] and one spelling error with the homophone [peaces / pieces]. Greater control of word choice would improve this score. A variety of complex structures are used with frequent error-free sentences, but a few errors remain [are the quality / is the quality).